Stages

There are all kinds of stages...

I've seen a few stages of parenthood -- babies, toddlers, teenagers, tweeners, then back to babies, toddlers and tweeners (see here if you are confused about why I have had experience with teenagers).

I have also seen some different stages of Fragile X in each of my kids. Stages where it affects them so much that they can't even seem to function socially or emotionally. Stages that bring them soaring to height I, nor they, even expected.

Stages that our marriage has gone through from newlyweds to parenthood, to fostering other children, to dealing with the news of a Fragile X diagnosis of 1 child, then 2, then 3.

We have gone through different stages of homes and neighborhoods.

We are trying to broaden our stage here in our new neighborhood by meeting new people and making our neighborhood family bigger. So what better way than to have a BBQ and karaoke?!

This, is definitely our favorite stage...

the one we can sing on (OK so it's our back deck, good enough).

You will love this video of Brother in his element dancing and singing with his friends.  Sister was trying to emulate her friends and was having a blast at it. Baby was gettin' down and shakin' her groove thang (you'll have to watch them behind the railing, Brother will make himself known).

Watch!

One-liners and a Ham

Sister loves to line things up... in one line...

Anything, really.

But, lately, it has been books.

She loves books.

She loves reading.

So why not line them up, right?

I know what you are thinking:

"You have too many books."

or

"You should put the books up higher so she can't get them to line them all up."

Well, guess what, I thought that too.

I sold a BUNCH of books at our yard sale. And I have put almost all of her books up in the top shelf of her closet.

Now she is lining up all the DVD's and videos that we have on the shelves.

So I talked to her about those, and today it was the coloring books and crayons.

Eh, either way.

And Baby's one-liners are just hilarious.

Mostly because they are just jibber-jabber and full of facial expressions and hand gestures.

I always try to record her but she usually stops so when I had the opportunity at my moms I just had to record it.

I also wanted to share some fun pics and a video of my mom with the little granddaughters. So cute!

(Oh and just a side note on the video or WARNING you could say: you will have to listen really close to here the little girls' giggles but, I am warning you that you will hear my voice and it will blast your ears because I am the one holding the phone/camera. AND watch Melly at the end... ha ha)

caught my mom mid-fall

Yaya was so happy to swing and Baby had fun with her too

And here is sister piling up rocks to make, what she told me, is an ANT house...
maybe she was saying AUNT house... that's a pretty big place

And of course Baby just has to ham it up all the time and of course I have to get pictures.

grandma Judy has lots of costumes and the kids love to rummage through them... this is what Baby put together herself...

Here she is in the toy room with the play phone... she looks just like me... no really, she does

I LOVE family videos especially when they're professional

Pointe Digital put a new song to our family video from last year so that I can now share it on my blog! Yay! I love this. I love looking back on it -- a little over 7 months ago and seeing Baby's sweet little feet, Sister's long hair, and Brother's antics. I especially love being reminded of how in love I am with my husband and what a great dad and fine looking man he is. (smile)

Pretty, Pretty Princess

You would think she is my first girl...

I am so excited that she wants to wear princess dresses!

It makes me laugh because she finds her dress and then brings it to Marc or I to put it on her and then she wears it the rest of the day.

This "scrunchy face" is my favorite... makes me laugh every time. That's why she does it.

The only way I can get her to take it off for bedtime is to let her pick one of her pretty night gowns to wear.

Oh how I love this stage she is in.

Not to mention she now requests quite a few things by saying words (in her own way).

"Mommy, I wah mik." = Mommy I want milk

"Mommy, side." = Mommy, I want to go outside.

"Mommy, I wah soup." = Mommy, I want food.

But my favorite part of it all is still when she grabs my finger and pulls me to wear she wants me to get her stuff from or where I am supposed to take her.

Last night I had music on while I was cooking and this time she came and grabbed both my hands signaling for me to dance with her.

So we danced in the kitchen.

With her princess dress on.

It was sweet.

It was fun.

He's making friends!

I cannot tell you just how exciting it is to watch Brother accumulate friends here in our new neighborhood. He goes out riding his bike around the loop and he ends up having friends riding with him.

Typically it's the girls he attracts on these bike rides (OK, so maybe he latches onto them while they are riding--especially our sweet, sweet neighbor girl his age), but tonight he had some boys who are part of his Deacons Quorum join him and even had him over at their house for a while riding bikes! One young man in particular hung out with him for a good hour and when Brother came home with his new friend in tow he just couldn't be happier. He was so proud to be able to say goodby to his new found friend as he pulled into our garage for the night.

The best part about it was that when his friend was leaving he hollered to me, "It was a lot of fun!"

My heart just soars to see him making friends and feeling at home here.

And when Brother makes friends he holds onto their friendship for life, regardless of what kind of reciprocation he receives from them or how often.

He is such a great example to me that way.

I want to be like him and regardless of what things have gone on that I can just pick up where it was good and go from there.

And it is not just friends he treasures, but family -- to him, each time he sees Bryan, Kelsey and Junior I still see the love he has for them now the same way he did when they were living with us.

I guess that is why we are taught so often that those with disabilities are not here to be taught by us, but, instead to let us be taught by them.

I have yet to download Kelsey's image on the receiving end

Here is one she got of them together when we were out visiting Grandma and Grandpa

Sister's Spectrum

Sister has Fragile X Syndrome.

She doesn't have Autism.

But, she has autistic-like tendencies or could be similar to Autism Spectrum Disorder, or ASD.

That isn't something I really tell people all that often.

So there it is.

For everyone to see.

Most importantly, me.

I can't seem to wrap my mind around it.

Besides, I have learned and read all along that girls with Fragile X are typically higher functioning than boys with Fragile X.

So why is she my hardest?

Is it because I have always expected her to be easier than Brother, therefore I see her as being harder because she is not what I expected?

I have fought hard to keep her out of any Autism Classrooms because I see so much desire in her to follow those who have autism. It's as if she sees their habits and thinks, "oh, that would really help me out if I did that too." Not to mention that children with Fragile X Syndrome are mimicker's. Brother, as a 3 and 4-year-old could impersonate Harry Potter's accent and would do the English bow and the whole nine yards. He was quite the half-time show when we would have everyone pause to watch his impersonation when he said, "Harry Potter" in his English accent and then bowed. He could barely talk but he could do that without a hitch. He loved the movie and he LOVES british accents so he followed it. Sister is the same way but she tends to impersonate people in real life rather than in movies.

When she was first being placed in her current class environment I was very concerned because her classmates didn't seem to be as high functioning as her, but I was very impressed with her teacher so we went forward with her placement.

Within a month she started reading and is now reading books with 4 to 5 words a page and is approaching a first grade reading level. She is comprehending math using touch points and her writing is improving. She tested higher than she did previously, and not only higher that she was at previously, but her IQ was head and shoulders above the rest of her class.

Her teacher called me a few weeks ago and let me know that she is testing so much higher than her classroom peers that her team at school felt she needed to be placed in an Autism Unit classroom that would be able to help her thrive academically and also help her with her behavior issues.

I was panicked and scared.

She has been doing so well.

She has been thriving in her current class.

I can't have her in with children with Autism where she would follow their behaviors when I am already dealing with her own behaviors. How could they even think that this could be the right placement for her? My initial thought was, "Heck no! She is NOT going into an Autism Unit. She does not have Autism. She has Fragile X. Period."

But, then I thought about it and realized how Heavenly Father has really had a hand in everything that has happened in our lives these last 7 months and decided I should at least go observe the classroom and give her teacher and her team the benefit of the doubt.

Last week I observed the classroom.

All sweet children.

All diagnosed with Autism.

No one diagnosed with Fragile X.

Yet, it was like watching a bunch of little Sisters. So many of the same mannerisms and personalities.

It scared me.

This is exactly what I am trying to avoid.

At the same time, though, I felt a certain peace about the classroom, a sort of feeling of ... home.

I talked to Marc about it.

We mulled it over.

We prayed about it.

I went to the temple and prayed about it there. All along I didn't feel any real answer any different to what had been offered as an option and just felt a general peace that it would all work out.

Then Marc and I attended a transition meeting for Sister's placement for the upcoming school year.

I was scared and confused and nervous because my mind was saying to "fight" for what was right for Sister, but my heart felt at peace with whatever was to come. It was kind of weird.

As the teachers and staff sat at the table with Marc and I, I could feel my emotions coming to the surface. I have never been emotional at any of my children's transition or IEP meetings and wasn't about to lose my composure at this one. But, as we talked and her teacher laid out her test scores and explained how much more she was doing than her classmates and her possible "future" teacher explained to me all the benefits of placing Sister in an Autism Unit I began to get emotional. When I asked Marc how he felt he so simply and eloquently explained to those in the room, "I hope it is OK to say that, I often pray that our children's teachers and educators will be inspired to do the right things for our children and I hope that you, in turn, pray for our children and know what to do for them, " (I know, bold, right, Loved it! He goes on.) "I think that the issue here, may be, that Rachael and I are just scared for the change and the leap of faith that this placement will take for us."

At that moment I knew the Marc felt right about the placement with the Autism Unit for Sister and that we just needed to have faith that they also want what's best for Sister and that is what they are trying to do with this placement.

I think I mostly cried because I don't think I realized just how much Sister's Autistic-like tendencies were such a dominant part of her life, and ours.

Maybe Fragile X is all I wanted to handle.

After the meeting was over Sister's teacher approached us, not as her teacher, but as our friend and expressed how he felt that this placement would be really good thing for Sister as long as we stay in communication with the teacher and do our part in preparing her for the change. He then went on to explain that his own son has Autism and that he has seen such beautiful changes and improvements in his life with him being in an Autism Unit. It really put my heart at ease to hear that, not only was he Sister's teacher, but he was also a parent who sees the other side of it all too.

I am so grateful that we have so many wonderful people involved in our children's lives who aren't just there for the paycheck, but are there because they LOVE what they do.

She was outside playing with her friends and she wanted to show me one of her Power Ranger moves.

Sometimes the right decisions are not always the easiest.

That seems to be the theme of Our Life these last 7 months.

Shifts and Tights

When you move into a new house you find that you have a lot of stuff you don't really need, or never should have had in the first place. So the answer is to either give it away, donate it, or have a yard sale to make more money to buy more stuff that you will eventually sell at a future yard sale.

So of course we chose the best option...

We had a yard sale!

We had my brother Aaron and his wife, Chelsea bring some of their stuff and my mom brought some of her stuff.

We thought it would be fun to have Aaron and Chelsea sleep over on Friday night so we could all get up early together to get ready for the yard sale.

We thought it would also be fun to take date night shifts.

How does that work?

Well, Aaron and Chelsea went out on a date (a short one because we were selfish and wanted the long one) while we watched Ya-ya with our kids and then when they got back we got our kids to bed and then went out on our date while they stayed back with our kids and Ya-ya.

It was great! Not to mention that when we got home they had cleaned the house and had chocolate dipped strawberries waiting for us. (smile) ... (big smile)

The cool part was that Marc and I got to stay out past 10:30 at night and it was quite exhilarating! We felt like teenagers being out watching a movie until 11:30 post meridian. Post, people, post! Woo hoo!!!

Ah. It's the little things, isn't it?

Then we woke up bright and early to put out the yard sale signs and get things pulled out from the garage and set up.

We had a steady stream of people from 7am till 12noon. Aaron and I switched off being in charge of the money and Aaron was actually quite the wheeler-dealer. We all, actually had a lot of fun. Marc's parents even came up to sell some items, help with the kids and other odd jobs around the house. Our neighbors brought some of their things and joined in. It was a yard sale party!

In fact my mom was having so much fun she wanted to where her party hat...

What can I say, my family and I get a little goofy when we are together. And no that is not a modern pirate get-up she has on her head. No it isn't a wig either. They are Halloween Witch Tights, duh. What else would she have on her head? Pshh.